Pennsylvania Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : PA Family Law Blog : Fox Rothschild Law Firm : Family Law Serving Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Chester County

Like most litigants, the end result and the cost of legal representation are among the most important concerns of anyone involved in a family law dispute. With these concerns in mind, clients frequently ask me if there is anything they can or should be doing to reduce the time I need to spend on their case or to help move things forward. The answer is a resounding “Yes!”  Here are 14 tips on how to be a good family law client and, at the same time, help your attorney achieve the best possible result without incurring excessive cost:

1. In advance of the first meeting with your attorney, assemble as much relevant documentation as possible. For instance, in a typical divorce case, this would include (at a minimum) complete copies of recent tax returns, pay stubs for both you and your spouse, a detailed list of all assets and liabilities, and any legal paperwork already filed and/or served upon you.
2. Speaking of documentation, organize every piece of paper that you give to your attorney.  Documents should be stapled, labeled and assembled in an orderly fashion.  Keep in mind that your attorney and his/her staff will do whatever is necessary to organize the documentation that you provide to him/her if you don't do so. It will, however, take time and cost money.
3. Keep a detailed diary of all significant events pertaining to your case and make sure to share copies with your attorney. A "Week-at-a-Glance" calendar often serves this purpose well.  This may be especially important in a custody case.  Your memory may fade with time, but a well-kept diary can be used to refresh your recollection prior to and/or during a hearing.  Additionally, your attorney can use your diary to assist in preparing your testimony in advance of a hearing.
4. A picture is worth a thousand words.  Besides documenting things in your diary, document what you can with photographs and/or videos.  For instance, if you decide to move out of the marital residence, take photographs of the condition of the residence and all property that you left behind.
5. Ask questions.  There is no such thing as a stupid question.  More often than not, questions from clients are highly relevant and serve as a basis for helping to frame out the issues and develop strategies.
6. If you need to discuss non-legal issues with someone, you may not want to call your attorney.   His/her hourly rate is probably much higher than a therapist's, and the therapist probably is better equipped to handle the issue.  While your attorney may be a very good listener, it will be to your economic and emotional advantage to discuss non-legal issues with your therapist, family members, friends, priest, rabbi, pastor, etc. 
7. Do your best to pay your attorney’s bills on a timely basis.  If you cannot pay a bill within a reasonable amount of time, call your attorney and ask to work out some payment arrangements.  If you are making a genuine effort, most attorneys will be understanding and work with you.
8. Promptly respond to calls and inquiries from your attorney. If it was not important, your  attorney would not be contacting you. Furthermore, if you are not being responsive to your attorney, he/she will have no choice but to spend his/her time and your money trying to get a response. 
9. When you leave a message for your attorney (either on voicemail or through a secretary) leave your phone number and the time when you will be available to speak. While your attorney likely has your number, it will take less time for your attorney to call you back if he/she does not have to find your number. This is especially true if your attorney is not in his/her office. 
10. If you have left messages for your attorney and have not received a response in a reasonable period of time, realize that there is probably a good reason why he/she has not returned your call (i.e., tied up in court or meetings, or handling an emergency situation). If the reason for your call is of an urgent nature, do not hesitate to explain the situation to your attorney’s secretary and/or ask if you can speak with another attorney in the firm. If your call is not urgent, ask your attorney’s secretary when she expects the attorney to be available so that you can call again or ask if an appointment can be placed in the attorney’s calendar for a phone conference. 
11. Do not believe everything that you hear from your spouse, family and friends as it pertains to your case and the law. Even though your spouse may act like he/she is trying to be accommodating, the reality is that he/she is likely out to get the best possible result for himself/herself. Similarly, realize that every case is different. Just because your friend’s cousin got a particular result does not mean that you will get a similar result. 
12. Do not sign or agree to anything without first speaking with your attorney. Attorneys are usually in favor of parties speaking and trying to reach amicable resolutions between themselves. An attorney, however, can and will help you determine if the terms discussed are in your best interest. There is nothing wrong with telling the opposing party that you need some time to think about it and will get back to them after speaking with your attorney. If the opposing party is pushing you to sign something on the spot, be suspect. 
13. Be discreet and resist the urge to deliberately annoy or antagonize your spouse. If you do or say something that you know will annoy your spouse, be prepared for appropriate retaliation. Also be prepared to pay your attorney who will, no doubt, get a call from the opposing counsel when your spouse calls to complain about your behavior. 
14. Last, but not least, be candid and truthful with your attorney. Attorneys do not like surprises. If your Attorney is well-informed, he/she can be fully prepared to deal with potentially damaging information if and when it is raised by the other side.
    

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I blogged last week about an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer that discussed a study that said it was good for your blood pressure to be in a healthy marriage.

Today CNN reported on a study that shows that one way to reduce your risk of death is to argue with your spouse.  Obviously, I'm being a little facetious, but the study looked at 192 couples over a period of more than 15 years, and concluded that spouses "who kept their anger in when unfairly attacked did not live as long as those who expressed their anger". 

The key is communication.  I am often asked what I believe is the main cause for couples divorcing, and the expected answer always is adultery.  But having practiced for 20 years, I really believe that the most common cause for divorce is a lack of communication.  People just don't talk about the issues, let them fester, and then spiral downward into divorce. 

Now there's a study that says divorce may not be the worst thing that happens to you if you don't express your feelings to your spouse.

The full article can be found if you click here.

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Although not really related to the practice of domestic relations law, I read an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer on March 21, 2008 that reported on a study  conducted with respect to the effect of a good marriage on blood pressure.  The results were that happily married people had the lowest blood pressure, followed by single people.  However, those in a stressful marriage brought up the rear.  It was not a huge study (204 married people and 99 single adults), but interesting nonetheless.

Click here to read the full article in the Philadelphia Inquirer.

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I work very closely with my secretary.  She is my “left and right hand”.  I could not be the attorney I am without her.  And I know, because there was a period of time when she was not with me.  In any event, I asked her to take a shot at a blog regarding the misunderstandings clients may have when it comes to her duties and responsibilities. In the spirit of the New Year, and as a type of New Year's Resolution, here is her “partially tongue in cheek” response:

1. Clients should not ask me to answer legal questions. I will relay all of your messages to my boss, but I can’t answer legal questions. The title “Legal Secretary” does not mean I can offer advice.
2. I give my boss all of the clients’ messages. Clients will not get a faster response if they leave 50 “Call me back” messages as opposed to one. If he hasn’t called you back, it means he’s in court or a meeting.
3. Please don’t ask me to take down a two page message. While I am sympathetic to what all of our clients are going through, I cannot possibly relate to my boss the detail of an incident. Another option would be to leave him a detailed voicemail.
4. Please do not state to me that you think the attorney is not getting his messages. I give him every message. If you think he is not getting the messages, you think I am not giving the messages to him. I really do.
5. Thank you for being polite. I know this is an emotional time for you and speaking with your attorney probably brings up a lot of emotional issues, but I appreciate that you take the time to be polite, as I will take the time to be polite to you also.
6. Call me by my name and let me know if I can do the same. I usually get introduced to our clients at their first meeting with my attorney, but I do not always feel comfortable calling people by their first names. If you feel it is appropriate, please feel free to tell me that I may call you by your first name. And it makes me feel good when you remember my name.
7. Leave your phone number. I know I may ask for your number over and over and over.  I am not trying to hassle you. We have your number in the computer, but we get very busy and, especially if the attorney is returning your call from out of the office, it helps to have the number with the message.
8. Last, but not least, don’t hesitate to send me flowers. Only kidding!!! But, if you think I did a great job, please tell me so. If you think I messed up, please tell me that also so it never happens again.

I hope that none of my clients are offended by this list.  But I think that the purpose of a blog is to offer different perspectives, and who has a better perspective on the relationship I have with my clients than my secretary.

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I have been practicing family law for over 26 years.  To ease the pressure of this practice, I resort to making rhymes about my work.  Here is one dealing with Prenuptial Agreements.

I DO

Come live with me and be my bride

To acquire an estate, to equitably divide.

Without regard to marital fault,

As well as those trinkets stashed away in the vault.

Custody of the children is our paramount concern,

For what is in their best interests we must discern

‘Cause in our state of holy matrimony,

One is also entitled to an award of alimony.

Perhaps for life, or for limited duration,

What is fair and reasonable requires explanation.

A mutual compromise is the best solution,

If not, our lawyers will guide us in the dissolution.

With endless anger, grief and fees,

The cure for this illness is worse than the disease.

So, now my love, be not remiss,

In this your opportunity for wedded bliss.

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In a recent decision, the Superior Court of Pennsylvania found that siblings not just spouses may be subject to abuse and, therefore, afforded the protections set forth in the Protection From Abuse Act in Pennsylvania (the “PFA Act”). 

In Custer v. Cochrane, 207 Pa. Super. 290 (filed September 25, 2007), the parties were siblings who were both employed in the family business and worked together for over 35 years. One sibling was the Office Manager and served as Secretary/Treasurer of the corporation, and the other sibling was the President of the corporation.  The allegations made by the sister were that her brother made verbal and physical threats, and that there actually were incidents of physical violence at the business.

In ruling that there was abuse and that the sister was entitled to protection under the PFA Act, the Superior Court rejected a prior line of cases which held that abusive behavior between siblings related to business was not subject to the PFA Act, as the parties did not reside in the same household.  The Superior Court noted that the definition of those entitled to protection under the PFA Act had been expanded by the legislature and that even though these parties were not members of the same household, they were related by “consanguinity” and that the PFA Act now encompasses relationships outside the strictly domestic sphere.  The parties were more than simply feuding business partners.  They were siblings linked by a biological relationship; and, that, a sibling seeking protection from the other because of physical violence (if justified) would be protected pursuant to the PFA statute. 

This case is striking in that it expands the protections afforded by the Act.  It also amplifies the fundamentals of the Act in that individuals are not allowed to redress their wrongs by threats, abusive conduct, or other actions (threatened or actual).

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Couples planning to marry often want to know if they need a Pre-Nuptial Agreement (also known as an Antenuptial Agreement). One may ask their estate or corporate lawyer what he or she thinks and the answer may be "yes" in many situations, but three very common ones are if:

1. It is a second marriage for at least one of the spouses and there are children of one or both people who will inherit instead of the spouse, 
2. If there is an existing business to be kept out of the marriage, or 
3. If the parties about to marry do not want to share their assets or the increases in value of those assets after they marry. Frequently, people want to protect their homes or their retirement accounts for themselves or their children.

If the parties fit into these general categories, they may benefit from such a Pre-Nuptial Agreement.

For such an agreement to be valid in Pennsylvania, there must be full and fair disclosure of all of the assets and liabilities owned by each party and a knowing waiver of rights without undue duress. Duress in Pennsylvania is the threat of physical force, not one party saying to cancel the wedding unless the document is signed. Although not required, the best way to ensure that these requirements are met is for each person to have their own lawyer, to sign such an agreement at least 30 days before the wedding, and to have all the assets, their values, and the basis for the valuations, listed in the document. Once properly executed, the document is a contract, the same as if you were buying a house - and its enforceable.

If all of this sounds too expensive or too complicated, the chances are the parties do not need the Pre-Nup!

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Prior to today, all of the posts on the Fox Rothschild Family Law Blog have been authored by me.  But as of today, I am proud to welcome many of the other fine lawyers in our group as bloggers.  The posts will be insightful, intelligent and will provide a resource for clients, practitioners, and anyone else interested in family law issues.  Check back often - and if you have any questions, or would like to see blogs on a specific subject, send me an email.  No guarantees, but with the breadth of experience in the Fox Rothschild Family Law Group, we will be able to address many interesting issues.

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Today was the first Executive Committee meeting of the Nicholas A. Cipriani Family Law American Inn of Court.  The Inn is being named in honor of Judge Cipriani, one of the most respected jurists in the history of the Philadelphia Family Court.

The purpose of the Inn is to promote professionalism, ethics, camaraderie and education among the bench and bar.  There are various categories of membership, and the Inn is seeking members at all levels of experience. 

If you are interested in reading more about the American Inns of Court, the website is www.innsofcourt.org. 

Or email me directly, and I'll be happy to answer any questions.  If I can't, I'll forward your email to the right person so that you can get the information you need.

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The new client walks in the door, obviously nervous about his or her case being the subject of a public trial in the county courthouse.

The first thing I tell them is that most third parties are not interested in their divorce case.

The second thing I say is that most of the cases I handle resolve without the need for substantial litigation, although there may be a hearing or two along the way.

However, most recently I have found that I am trying a few more cases than usual, and I'm winning.  I'm not saying that so that readers will think: I've got to have Charlie Meyer as my lawyer.  My real point is that, while I have written in the past on the importance of professionalism and civility in the practice of law, especially in domestic relations practice, I now am finding that lawyers are taking positions they cannot possibly defend and upon which they cannot prevail.

I am reminded of the time when, as a young lawyer, I met with an "experienced" (read "older") lawyer in his storefront office to discuss a support matter.  It obviously was a case which would be decided under the Guidelines.  But to my surprise, his position was that "he didn't use 'those' guidelines".  Needless to say, we went to court, and the guidelines were applied.

This story is illustrative of what I am finding more and more in my practice.

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