4 THINGS NOT TO PUT IN YOUR ONLINE DATING PROFILE DURING A DIVORCE

While reading a press release by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers this afternoon, I realized individuals in the midst of a divorce regularly receive warnings about what is acceptable and safe to post on Facebook and what might get them in trouble. They also receive advice from their counsel about when it is appropriate to start dating again and when, for strategic reasons in a divorce or custody case, it might be best to wait. But what about when the two collide and people in the middle of a divorce put a profile on an online dating site? Here are five things I hope my clients never put on their online dating profiles:

1.             Pictures of your kids: While your children are undoubtedly adorable, your spouse (or ex-spouse) will have a field day in a custody case with the family photographs you put on your dating profile. Your decision to upload a picture of you with your child from last Christmas may have been completely innocent, but the other parent can easily turn it around on you, claiming you are using your children to find dates or exposing your children to internet predators.

 

2.             A claim you don’t have kids (when you do): The exact opposite of putting pictures of your children on your profile, if you have kids, don’t claim you are childless on your dating profile. Immediately, the other parent will claim you must not love your children if you won’t tell anyone about them.

 

3.             Anything about your income: If you are in the middle of litigating your income in a divorce or support case, and claiming in court that you make less than $50,000 a year, stating on your online dating profile that you make more than $200,000 per year might not be the wisest move. While it might attract people that otherwise wouldn’t respond to your profile, you will pay for it dearly in court.

 

4.             Stating you are divorced, or single (when you aren’t): Often times in a divorce or support matter, the date you separated from your spouse is very important. If you posted that you are single on your dating profile, weeks or months before you spouse knew your marriage was over, you may have set your date of separation unintentionally. You may have also admitted infidelity (or at least an attempt at infidelity) prior to your official date of separation, which may preclude you from collecting spousal support. To be safe, I wouldn’t put up a profile on a dating site at all until you are definitely separated. 

Twitter Download Makes Account Production Easy and Risky for Clients

 

(Image: http://www.opencms.org/en/)

 

The practice of family law has seen a shift in discovery in recent years with the increased use of social networking sites by clients. There are increasingly easy ways to access and download the histories of websites like Facebook; the implications to clients is what they thought were private comments to “friends” do not evaporate into the ether of the internet, but are, instead, discoverable and producible information which may be used at trial. I discussed this issue before on our blog and how family law lawyers are reporting a major increase in the use of online evidence at trial.

 

Facebook’s ability to download the entire history of the account undoubtedly offers the largest trove of discoverable information, but Twitter recently announced that they are providing a method for downloading account histories, as well. Since people often discuss every aspect of their personal life with their private – and not so private – “friends” online, these account histories are proving to be important sources of information, particularly with many Pennsylvania courts emphasizing the importance of parties fostering positive relationships between the child and other parent. Consequently, long strings of negative comments about their ex-spouse (for example) could have an adverse impact on a parent later on in a custody trial when those comments are introduced into evidence.

 

The advice most attorneys give to their clients using social networking sites during a case is simple: STOP. Their next advice should be not to delete anything since the Court could take an adverse view on a party destroying discoverable information. Social networking is a double-edged sword of providing a community of support to people, but also becoming a forum to defame, insult, or criticize the other side. Knowing Twitter is joining Facebook and other sites in making accounts so easily produced should give people further pause about what they say online about the other party.

SOCIAL NETWORKING EVIDENCE

The explosion of social networking websites in recent years has had some unintended consequences for many people: the details of their life are being downloaded as evidence for Court.

The ease of accessibility to your personal life is arguably the greatest aspect of social networking, but also poses its greatest risk to its users. Not surprisingly, some people make some questionable choices about the content they post on their page and that content – pictures, video, audio, links – are finding a life beyond the internet as exhibits to custody petitions, impeaching the testimony of witnesses, or proof of drug or alcohol abuse. In fact, a February 2010 survey of members of the American Academy for Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81% of its members have identified an increase in the use of social media data as evidence in court cases.

 

With sites such as Facebook engaged in a seemingly endless reexamination of their privacy rules, people should be extremely careful about what they post, content associated with them on other people’s pages, and who has access to that content. While they may not post a single incriminating item themselves, they need to be vigilant in removing tags from other people’s content and insulating themselves from embarrassing, incriminating, or scandalous information on a website. 

 

If you engage in the type of behavior that might prove to be good fodder in a custody battle, besides taking some time to reexamine your choices, the next best advice is to move your life off-line for a while. The ease of disseminating information on social networking sites should not lead you to get complacent as to how you’re portraying yourself on-line.