While reading a press release by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers this afternoon, I realized individuals in the midst of a divorce regularly receive warnings about what is acceptable and safe to post on Facebook and what might get them in trouble. They also receive advice from their counsel about when it is appropriate to start dating again and when, for strategic reasons in a divorce or custody case, it might be best to wait. But what about when the two collide and people in the middle of a divorce put a profile on an online dating site? Here are five things I hope my clients never put on their online dating profiles:
1. Pictures of your kids: While your children are undoubtedly adorable, your spouse (or ex-spouse) will have a field day in a custody case with the family photographs you put on your dating profile. Your decision to upload a picture of you with your child from last Christmas may have been completely innocent, but the other parent can easily turn it around on you, claiming you are using your children to find dates or exposing your children to internet predators.
2. A claim you don’t have kids (when you do): The exact opposite of putting pictures of your children on your profile, if you have kids, don’t claim you are childless on your dating profile. Immediately, the other parent will claim you must not love your children if you won’t tell anyone about them.
3. Anything about your income: If you are in the middle of litigating your income in a divorce or support case, and claiming in court that you make less than $50,000 a year, stating on your online dating profile that you make more than $200,000 per year might not be the wisest move. While it might attract people that otherwise wouldn’t respond to your profile, you will pay for it dearly in court.
4. Stating you are divorced, or single (when you aren’t): Often times in a divorce or support matter, the date you separated from your spouse is very important. If you posted that you are single on your dating profile, weeks or months before you spouse knew your marriage was over, you may have set your date of separation unintentionally. You may have also admitted infidelity (or at least an attempt at infidelity) prior to your official date of separation, which may preclude you from collecting spousal support. To be safe, I wouldn’t put up a profile on a dating site at all until you are definitely separated.